By Fault Read online

  “Date a groom?” she scoffed. “I’m not that desperate yet.”

  Vince just shrugged. “You could be missing out.”

  She laughed. “No thank you.”

  He just shook his head as she walked away.

  Chapter Seven

  RIDING TWO horses in the same class wasn’t quite as stressful as Vince had expected, but it still wasn’t something he wanted to do on a regular basis. Casper was a little more excitable than Xander when it came to the actual competition, but he still didn’t fight Vince or refuse any fences like he had with Jessica. Hopefully she would remember Vince’s advice the next time she rode him.

  He made the jump-off with both horses, and that was the only time Vince really felt any stress about the class. There were three other pairs in the second round, so the officials arranged it so Vince could ride first on Casper and last on Xander. Still, that didn’t leave much time between rides. Caspar didn’t drop any rails during the jump-off, but he wasn’t as fast as the only other horse to go clear, putting him and Vince in second place. Xander took down one rail, but he was faster than any of the others who had also dropped a rail, landing him and Vince in third place.

  Vince quickly discovered that being paid to ride someone’s horse clearly marked him as a professional, even if it had just been once. The other riders who had seemed put off by him not having an expensive trainer or tons of money were evidently thinking differently now. Once again he was being pulled away to talk about seemingly random topics, though all industry related, less than an hour after the class was over. As the week went on it continued, even escalated, with riders and trainers and owners all wanting to talk to him about one thing or another. He quickly learned how to politely turn down other offers of horses to ride.

  And of course there were the journalists. Every equine news outlet must have had his picture and known his name by now.

  The interest from the riders may also have come from the day when he encountered some of them while he was buying a second set of show clothes. He needed more than one set so he didn’t wear out the one he had been using for years, but though there were multiple vendors on the showgrounds, only one seemed to sell show coats or men’s breeches. That left no room for price shopping. Thankfully, he’d finally started to notice his winnings appearing in his bank account. Seeing him shovel out a ridiculous amount of money for clothes seemed to strike a new idea in the minds of the other riders.

  If he hadn’t been born rich, he could win enough to be one of them. They started wanting to talk to him whenever they ran into him. They even came looking for him in the stables at times.

  Vince thought he should have been annoyed by the way these strangers kept bothering him, but he was too amazed by the attention to care. These were more well-known and more experienced riders than he was, and they were making an effort to talk to him. He finally experienced a sense of true belonging he’d never truly felt in the show world before.

  It was fucking incredible.

  VINCE WAS so busy between socializing and dealing with official business like paperwork and drug testing and vet inspections that he never did call Anna to check in about the snowstorm. If something had happened, she would have let him know. He also didn’t get to see much of Dustin anymore, except at night. Even then, all Dustin wanted to do was sleep.

  It almost seemed like Dustin was giving him the cold shoulder, but Vince didn’t understand why. Dustin never said anything, but Vince knew something had to be bothering him. Finally, on Tuesday night, he decided that waiting for Dustin to bring up whatever the issue was wasn’t going to work.

  “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” he asked as they lay beside each other in bed with what felt like a whole world between them.

  Dustin sighed. “Nothing.”

  Vince turned onto his side to face him. “Dust.”

  Dustin continued to gaze up at the ceiling. “You don’t want to know.”

  “I wouldn’t be asking, then.”

  There was a long silence. Then Dustin took a deep breath and quietly asked, “Why do you never want me to come with you when you’re gone all day? I get that these are your friends, but you haven’t asked me to spend time with you once since you started hanging out with these other riders.”

  Vince shrugged the shoulder he wasn’t lying on. “I don’t know. No one else ever brings their grooms with them.”

  That had clearly been the wrong thing to say. Dustin sat up and turned to face Vince. Even in the darkness of the trailer Vince could see the anger on Dustin’s face. Anger with a touch of disappointment.

  “What, I’m your groom first and boyfriend second now?” Dustin demanded. “Or am I not even your boyfriend anymore?”

  “What the hell?” Vince asked, confused. “Why would you think that?”

  “Because you haven’t exactly been very intimate lately.”

  “You’re the one who’s basically been giving me the silent treatment!” Vince argued, sitting up cautiously. “And I knew we’d end up fighting about this. I’m sorry that I’m not a very sexual person.”

  “This has nothing to do with sex!” Dustin practically yelled. “Or you being asexual. That doesn’t matter! But you used to actually think about how I felt about things. You were always a little touchy-feely, which I honestly liked because it made me feel safe. But now all that matters to you is having your new friends. It’s like all this winning has changed you. Now you have a ton of money and a gang of rich buddies, and I’m nothing.”

  Vince held up a hand. “First of all, I don’t consider any of those riders friends. Secondly, I hardly have any of the money I’ve won yet. And, finally, you’re getting exactly as much money as I am.”

  Dustin threw the covers off his lap so violently that he slammed the back of his hand against the ceiling of the trailer hard enough that it echoed eerily through the whole structure. He didn’t even flinch.

  “I don’t have the fucking limelight shining on me! I’m the fucking groom, working my ass off to keep Xander ready, to keep your tack ready, and to fucking keep you organized while you’re off having a grand old time with your great new friends.”

  “What about your new friends?” Vince argued. “I know you get along just fine with most of the other grooms.”

  “Yeah? Guess what. We’re all grooms. We can’t fucking leave for a whole day without a rider or owner getting pissed about us leaving the damn horses. We aren’t supposed to have free time or social time!”

  “Then what are you so ticked off about?” Vince demanded.

  Dustin went still and stared silently at Vince for a long moment. “I don’t think I like this new version of you,” he finally said, far too calmly for Vince.

  Then Dustin got down from the bed. Vince watched in confusion as Dustin jammed on his boots, threw on a jacket over his T-shirt, and left, slamming the door so hard the trailer shook.

  Chapter Eight

  VINCE HAD no idea how long he sat and stared down at the door after Dustin left, but everything Dustin had said slowly sank in as he sat there, utterly alone. He’d brought Dustin with him because Dustin was his partner in this just as much as Xander was, and somewhere along the way he’d forgotten that. He’d kept his fear so far to the back of his mind that it had become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  This show had ruined their relationship.

  The thought of not seeing Dustin again, of not holding him anymore or falling asleep with him, ripped something out of Vince. It was like nothing he’d felt since his mom had died. There was a deep, hollow, sucking void opening up all around him.

  He was moving before he even thought about it, before he could let the stinging in his eyes and the sorrow in his heart take over. Dustin couldn’t have just left; all his extra clothes, his phone, and his wallet were still in the trailer.

  But a nagging voice in Vince’s head reminded him that Dustin had lived on the streets with little more than the clothes on his back.

  Vince stuffed his fe
et into his paddock boots and glanced at the table, momentarily reassured. Even on the streets Dustin had kept his ID with him somewhere so he could never be a John Doe. He wouldn’t have stopped caring now, he tried to tell himself.

  And no way could he abandon Xander without a good-bye, Vince hoped.

  Still, Vince was terrified as he hurried to the stables. What if Dustin waited for him to leave, then took his stuff from the trailer? What if he really was going to vanish before Vince could try to apologize?

  Part of him was aware the fear wasn’t rational, but the better part of his mind knew that Dustin was perfectly capable of leaving now and never looking back.

  Had Vince really fucked up so badly that Dustin would want to disappear?

  The two-minute walk to Xander’s stable row felt like an hour, and he was filled with dread when he heard only the shifting of horses in their sleep. When he got to Xander’s stall relief flooded him. Dustin was sitting against the back wall, one hand on Xander’s neck. Xander was lying down, head practically on Dustin’s lap. They both looked up when Vince stopped in the doorway, one with interest and one with wariness.

  “Can I come in?” Vince asked cautiously.

  “It’s your stall and your horse,” was all Dustin said in reply.

  Vince quietly entered the stall and sat down a short distance from Dustin. “I’m an asshole.”

  Dustin made a sound that Vince assumed meant that he agreed.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Dustin didn’t reply. He didn’t even look at Vince.

  “You’re right. I got caught up in everything,” Vince went on, hoping he would somehow say what he needed to say. “You are the world to me and I didn’t mean to make you feel so terrible. I honestly didn’t realize what I was doing to you, Dust. I’m sorry. God, I don’t want to lose you and I’d give anything to change how I acted, or even just the things I said tonight. And if being a successful rider means losing you, I’ll pull out of this right now and never look back.”

  Dustin startled a little. “Aren’t you doing this for your mom?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t think she would want me to sacrifice my relationship with someone I love so much just to win more shows.”

  “I could never let you make that choice,” Dustin whispered.

  “But I will,” Vince insisted, trying not to feel desperate. “None of this is as important to me as you are.”

  “God, Vince.” Dustin finally looked over at him, his eyes shining in the dimly lit barn. “I don’t want you to give up showing for me. I like being here with you. I just wanted you to realize how you were acting and get things back to normal.”

  Vince felt a surge of hope. “Really?”

  Dustin nodded.

  “I can do that too,” Vince assured him. “I swear I’ll do my best.”

  Dustin reached out a hand. “I’m sorry I was such an asshole.”

  Vince gripped his hand tightly. “Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry.”

  “I know,” Dustin replied softly.

  Vince moved closer and pulled Dustin into a gentle kiss. But Dustin wrapped his arms around Vince and returned the kiss more deeply. Relieved, Vince held Dustin even closer.

  Xander, finally annoyed, grunted and moved from lying flat on his side to an upright position, chin hanging low to the floor. Vince and Dustin pulled away slightly at the distraction.

  “I forgive you,” Dustin finally murmured against Vince’s ear. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” Vince replied. “Let’s go back to the trailer.”

  “Good idea.”

  Vince stood and pulled Dustin to his feet. After another brief kiss they left the stall hand in hand. Xander was hardly bothered by their departure. They were barely back inside the trailer before they were kissing again. The relief and joy in Vince was so strong that it felt like a first kiss all over again.

  “Whatever you want,” Vince murmured between kisses, “you can have.”

  “Then we better get up to that bed,” Dustin replied in a tone that was practically a growl.

  Vince grinned. “Of course.”

  ONE OF the other grooms in the stable row happily agreed to check on Xander periodically for Dustin, and he joined Vince for a walk around the showgrounds the following afternoon. They headed straight for the vendors with a few ideas of things they needed to buy. Dustin was in desperate need of a new belt, since he shared Vince’s belief that things should be put to use until they were just too worn out. Vince knew he needed more saddle cleaner so that he wouldn’t need to invest in a new saddle soon because it was worn out.

  The riders who had been giving Vince so much attention practically ignored Dustin’s presence when they found him. Dustin didn’t appear to mind. The conversations generally weren’t ones Dustin could easily participate in. When talk did turn to topics Dustin had more knowledge of, Vince encouraged him to jump in. This genuinely surprised some of the people talking to them. Some turned back to Vince and ignored Dustin, but others seemed happy to include him.

  He didn’t introduce Dustin to anyone as his boyfriend, at first, and Dustin didn’t seem offended. When they ran into Jason Miller, though, Vince decided to change that. He’d been talking to Jason whenever he was wandering among the vendors and Jason was there, mainly because Vince enjoyed the fact that he wasn’t the only person at the show who wouldn’t turn up their nose at competing with an off-track thoroughbred. He enjoyed hearing about Jason’s thoroughbred, Danny, and the one his brother used for polo. Jason had even offered to take Vince to a polo match to see the ponies in action.

  And that was exactly why Vince wanted to take Dustin to meet him.

  Jason didn’t seem very surprised at all when Vince introduced him to Dustin. He smiled warmly and shook Dustin’s hand. “Why haven’t we met before?” he asked, looking rather curious.

  Dustin shrugged. “He had to convince me it was okay to leave Xander for a while. I’m the groom.”

  Vince shot him a quick glance, and Dustin just smiled at him.

  “I was wondering,” Vince began, turning back to Jason. “Does your offer to see your brother’s polo match still stand?”

  Jason grinned. “Sure. I don’t know if we can do a match, though. They’re usually Sundays and I know you compete on Sundays, but I’m sure seeing a morning practice session would be almost as fun.”

  “That sounds good to me,” Dustin declared, smiling.

  They spent the next several minutes talking to Jason, planning their trip to the polo fields, until Jason had to get back to work and they decided it was time to head back to Xander. The fact that Dustin didn’t stop smiling made Vince feel incredibly relieved. He even took Dustin’s hand as soon as they returned to their stable row.

  Things were back to normal for them.

  “NO, I’M being completely honest with you!” Dustin said earnestly, looking up from Xander’s saddle girth. “I really don’t want to go out for lunch.”

  “Weren’t you just mad at me a few days ago for being a shitty boyfriend?” Vince asked from where he was leaning on the stall door. He was watching Dustin tack up Xander for a morning training session inside—he had given up weeks ago on trying to do it himself when Dustin repeatedly insisted it was part of his job description. “And you don’t want me to take you out for Valentine’s Day?”

  Dustin finished adjusting the girth and shrugged. “We can go to lunch on Tuesday. Anywhere we go will be busy today, and you have a class tonight.”

  Vince handed over the bridle that he had on his shoulder. “Works for me.”

  Dustin took the bridle with a smile. “I know we always agreed on a date instead of gifts, but you could win for me tonight.”

  Vince chuckled. “We’ll do our best. I’ll let you have the ribbon, whichever color we get.”

  Dustin laughed. “I’ll make sure I put it on a different wall at home so everyone knows it’s mine.”

  THE FACT that it was Valentine’s Day didn’t change the atmosphere of
the showgrounds very much at all, except that the music coming out of the various speakers throughout the grounds played only love songs. Ever since they’d made up from their fight four days ago, Vince had been feeling even more affectionate toward Dustin, something he hadn’t realized was possible. Somehow, understanding what Dustin needed from him made Vince feel that much closer to him. There were so many other demands on Vince’s time, but Dustin was his anchor, more so than he had been before. There had been tiny lingering doubts in his mind about their relationship, mainly fears that Dustin would leave him for one reason or another, the main one being that perhaps Dustin still just felt too grateful to Vince for giving him a job and a place to stay, and once Vince stopped showing he’d decide he didn’t need to repay him anymore.

  But those doubts had vanished when Dustin had abruptly stopped in the middle of their incredible make-up sex and asked, with an intense look in his eyes, “Did you really think I was leaving?”

  Vince had gently brushed a lock of hair from Dustin’s sweat-dampened forehead. “That’s what I was afraid of. I was terrified.”

  Dustin had shaken his head, then kissed Vince gently. “You’d need to do a lot worse than that for me to choose to leave. I love you.”

  Vince had pulled back before the kiss got passionate again. “Did you mean what you said about me being touchy-feely?”

  Dustin had nodded. “I don’t know why, but it makes me feel safe. It makes me feel wanted and loved.”

  With a smile, Vince had pulled him back in for a kiss. “I always assumed it was too much because I always hear that it’s a bad thing. But I won’t hold back so much.”

  Sitting on Xander Saturday night before entering the arena, with that memory clear in his mind, Vince reached down and squeezed Dustin’s shoulder. Dustin looked up at him with a smile just as the gate opened for Vince and Xander to take their turn.